To breakup is to make up. The complexity of life is in the mixture of experiences; both good and bad. Fortunately and unfortunately, we have to find a way to deal with whichever situation comes our way.
Our interactions with those situations form our experiences, and our experiences to a very large extent form our dispositions to life itself. The fortunate aspect of dealing with our situations and experiences; most importantly negative, is that they help us grow a thick skin and be resilient. The unfortunate thing, is that negative situations and negative experiences can produce negative impacts if not handled properly.And one of such experiences is a breakup.
Dealing with a breakup may be hard, due to the fact that it deals with the emotions; and at some point, we feel probably betrayed,cheated, downcast as the case may be. Unknown to us is the fact that break ups are a blessing in disguise if looked into properly because, it gives opportunity for retreat and introspection.
There are many flaws we may have missed out on when we were in a relationship. This is probably due to our high emotions at that time; which would become evident, and more revealing because our emotions are clear and are now capable of objective appraisals.
DEALING WITH A BREAKUP
The following are likely processes involved in dealing with a breakup situation:
- Forgive yourself: Forgiving yourself doesn’t necessarily mean you are at fault, it simply means not being too hard on yourself and letting things go. It is obvious that both parties in a relationship, are to be held responsible for both ups and downs . And even if you have been the good party all through, you must understand that it is one thing for you to give love, and it is another thing for the other party to receive the given love effectively. Definitely ,there’s a gap in the love-giving-taking mechanism of the relationship. Forgive yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself, breakups happen normally.
- Resurrect your hobbies: One of the quickest ways to snap out of a breakup, is to get involved in the things we love. Music is one very sure way to get back on track. It helps to offload your mind and leaves you lighter than you were.Do a sport if you love to; in fact, it has been said that there lies a connection between the state of the mind, and physical activities.The more you free yourself physically,the more your mind is free; and you can get a better hold of your emotions. You can also decide to hangout with friends, in fact this is one of the best, friends help you through a breakup in ways you possibly can’t imagine. You can talk to them at times because we sometimes need people to listen to us.
- Take on a challenge: This means get busy.Although, this might be hard at first, with time it gets easier. If you desire to pursue a higher degree, you can do that.You can start a business, you can get into other legitimate activities that can get you busy and happy.However, you must be careful not to use activities as a mask for your pain. Let whatever activity you are carrying out emanate from a pure source.
- Love again: Many people say they need time to heal which is not bad; but by so doing they shut themselves up to love. This is not a good way to heal. As long as you have taken time to heal, and your heart notifies you that you are ready, why not try again. Don’tbe afraid to launch out, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there again. Love is great! definitely you would find someone else to show you a better way to love than the previous. However,it is best to thread with caution. Don’t get fixed into a new relationship just because you want to forget about the previous one, this is a toxic element.
- Allow time: I usually say this, that time has a way of answering a lot of questions. What used to bother you a month ago probably may not bother you anymore. Why? Time happened. Give time a chance, and see the goodness and flower of love bud again in your heart.
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